martes, 30 de junio de 2009

Día 5. Casco viejo de Panamá














Qué poquitas ganas de escribir... pero ya que he descubierto que tengo más seguidores de los que creía, obligada me veo a actualizar esto. Espero que la memoria no me falle...

Decidimos ir al casco viejo de Panamá. María nos ha dicho que toca regatear con los taxistas. El primero al que preguntamos nos pide $10 por llevarnos hasta allí, una barbaridad. El segundo lo rebaja a $4. Ana encuentra la ganga del siglo: un "taxista" nos pide sólo $1 por llevarnos a las cuatro. Ana acepta y ya ha abierto la puerta del taxi cuando me doy cuenta de que a) no tiene licencia y b) es una furgoneta con los cristales tintados. Me niego a subir y el "taxista" se mosquea conmigo. Al final buscamos otro que nos cobra $3. ¿Pensáis que es un chollo? Bueno, teniendo en cuenta que el sueldo medio mensual en Panamá es de $67, ya me contaréis...

Una vez en el (precioso) casco viejo, hacemos lo que todas las guías recomiendan no hacer. Comprar algo de comer en un puesto callejero para desayunar. Yo me decanto por una patata rellena y zumo de mango. Sigo viva así que tan malo tampoco podía ser.

Paseamos por las calles y visitamos el Palacio de las Garzas, residencia del presidente y famoso porque en su patio viven cuatro ejemplares del animal que le da nombre. Sin embargo, no conseguimos verlas. Un amable policía pide que suelten a una para que podamos hacer unas fotos. Demasiado amable. Justo antes de irnos, me pregunta mi nombre y otros detalles personales. Ya decía yo...

Nos paramos ante un puesto en el que una india kuna está tejiendo molas. Saco la cámara y me indica que no puedo hacerle fotos. Compro un par de regalos para mi familia y... ¡bingo! Acepta a ser retratada. Le pregunto que si me puedo sentar a su lado y acepta. A la prueba os remito.

De camino a la catedral, y bajo un calor asfixiante, nos refrescamos con agua de pipa y poco después compramos piña (riquísima por aquí), yuca y patacón. La catedral me decepciona muchísimo. Es lo que tiene haber visto tantas.

Entramos en el teatro y en la iglesia de San Felipe, donde está el célebre altar de oro. Cuenta la leyenda que el párroco ordenó pintarlo de negro para que el pirata Morgan, que saqueó y quemó la antigua ciudad, no se lo llevase.

Hora de ir al la exclusa de Miraflores en el canal de Panamá. Cogemos un taxi y el chaval (no tendrá más de 18 años) que conduce no tiene ni idea de cómo ir. Ana, muy viajada ella, le va indicando el que creemos que es el camino (según el mapa de su guía). Unos camioneros, al vernos tan perdidos, nos piden que les sigamos y nos llevan hasta allí.

El canal es impresionante. Cada barco del tipo Panamax debe pagar $65.000 para pasar. Si tenemos en cuenta que el canal funciona las 24 horas del día durante los 365 días del año... ¿dónde va a parar todo ese dinero?

Por la tarde vamos a Mi Pueblito, una especie de parque temático donde se representan las tres culturas que conforman el país. Somos las únicas turistas, da la impresión de estar en un pueblo desierto.

Ýa de noche, cenamos en un típico restaurante panameño. Pedimos patacón y pescado, delicioso. Decidimos regresar a casa para descansar. Mañana es el gran día.

lunes, 15 de junio de 2009

Second chance

If you want to know the truth, keep on reading then.

However, sometimes it is better not to know.

Or, at least, it is safer.

I am writing this on Thursday night when I still do not know what is going to happen to me and my future. With a little bit of luck, I will find it next Monday, maybe tomorrow.

I have had this sentence in mind since the very beginning: I knew it. I knew you would the best AND worst thing that could ever happened to me.

I remember the first day we met. You were not wearing jeans but your usual stuff. Nice color on you though. I had no idea who you were but I immediately felt attracted to you (do not worry, I will not make those cheesy comparisons between the moon and the earth. It is not my style. I actually felt as if you were a magnet pushing me towards you). I first thought you were a pretty decent-looking guy but then you smiled and that, that, was the beginning of the end of my common sense, self control, self esteem and every single word containing self in it. Even myself.

At first, I just considered you one of the people I could trust the most. A good listener and somebody who would take care of me and my needs if necessary. Unfortunately, the more I got to know you, the more I got into you. What started like a fun game has ended up consuming me. I seriously do not know who I am anymore. If, 2 years ago, somebody had told me I would be doing things like this... I would have laughed in their face -"No way, I am not like that!"-. We have this saying in Spanish nunca digas de esta agua no beberé (which could be translated as "never say never"). So appropriate...

I have spent almost two years trying to get closer to you. Anything would give me the excuse to "talk" to you, to contact you. I just needed to feel your presence, to know that you were still there. However, for doing so I have felt like an idiot, a loser, a stalker, a bitch and a slut.

It is not all my fault though. It all started with an (innocent?) comment, remember? You said: "hey, what are you doing on Friday? I would like to have a drink with you but it has to be after midnight". It´s funny, I was so confused by what it would mean that I got completely lost on my way home.

You also have this personality... I never know if you are joking or actually mean it. However, that can be a double-edged sword. Believe it or not, I felt quite hurt when you asked me if I would marry you to stay in this country. Of course I know you were not serious about it but considering the circumstances, what would you expect?

I have tons of male friends in Spain, I usually get along better with men than with women. Some of these men are married, some are engaged and some are single but I have always known where the line is drawn. With you is completely different, I never know what to think or how to act.

I am not going to blame you, anyway. Everybody knows that those who play with fire will eventually get burned.

I am aware that I am way too impulsive and that I will regret sending you the link to access this. It has always been the same. I will say or do something and, 5 minutes later, my old Catholic guilt will knock on my soul.

But... how can you control your feelings? How can you avoid feeling what you feel?

These are the thoughts I was supposed to share with you my very last day in this country. I was also supposed to tell you, face to face. I do not think I have the guts though. Not that I would be able to do it either, you keep on interrupting me whenever I try to talk to you!

My common sense tells me not to publish this, even for such a short period of time, but I need to get it out of my chest. I am sure you already knew everything above but at least this will explain a lot of things. If not... you guys really don´t have a clue about anything, do you?

I trust you and I hope you will not use it against me but if you do... too bad then. I guess I was the one looking for it.